God’s gift . . .
Treating Yourself & Others with Compassion
Jesus was asked what the greatest commandment is . . . He responds with brilliantly unforgettable and infinitely wise words . . .
“‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul
and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment.
And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’”
Matthew 22:37-38
Have you ever noticed that we tend to focus on the first two parts—love God and love neighbor—but we neglect the last part—“as yourself”?
“Love your neighbor as yourself” . . . We often hear people use these words to pressure their friends and loved ones to be kind, compassionate, and generous to others . . . The intentions are good, and a lot of people will follow through for others, but they neglect themselves . . . The verse says, “love your neighbor as yourself”. . . the imperative word here being “as” . . . Scripture is saying that in order to be kind, compassionate, and generous to our neighbor, we must first be these things to ourselves . . . we must first be compassionate, kind, and generous to ourselves.
Think about this . . . If you are instructed to love someone as you love yourself, then this means that if you dislike or are cruel to yourself then you are to dislike or be cruel to that someone . . . On the other hand, if you cherish yourself then you are invited to cherish others . . . Actually, this verse takes it for granted that we love ourselves . . . but in reality, that is a rather large assumption.
If we want to have the energy, empathy, strength, and passion that we desire to put back into the world, we must first treat ourselves with compassion . . . we must accept and love our full self, flaws and all—just like God loves us . . .We need to nurture ourselves, so that we have the strength and courage to nurture our loved ones and our neighbors.
Maybe this world needs more people who aren’t afraid of caring for themselves as we are invited to do, so that we can successfully embrace love the way Christ loves . . . Maybe we need to lay down guilt, shame, and judgment, an instead practice loving ourselves, our neighbor, and our God.
INSIGHT . . .
Focusing on [yourself] isn’t self-absorbed,
it’s an essential practice to love [yourself] well so that [you] can love others.
(Jemar Tisby, PhD)
Treating yourself with compassion is deeply rooted in biblical teachings . . . The Bible reminds us to extend the same grace, patience, and tender mercy to ourselves that God freely gives to us.
"Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved,
clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience."
Colossians 3:12
When people talk about compassion, it’s usually in reference to another person . . . There’s nothing wrong with helping and supporting your friends . . . showing compassion to others is usually taught to us from a very young age . . . but we aren’t always taught to show the same compassion to ourselves.
So, what is self-compassion? . . . It is simply a way to be kind and caring to ourselves, and accept that our emotions are valid—just like we accept those emotions experienced by the people around us.
Treating yourself well isn’t selfish . . . it’s the blueprint or design of how to treat others . . . Loving yourself builds the emotional resilience and empathy that we need to understand how to genuinely care for others . . . when we extend ourselves the same grace, patience, and compassion that we want to share, we create an abundant capacity to serve and connect with our local community . . . The principle of "loving your neighbor as yourself" is a timeless foundation that bolsters community and connection.
Each of us also needs to forgive ourselves for mistakes, the same way we would readily forgive a close friend, because a healthy, non-judgmental inner voice makes it much easier to be understanding and patient with the people around us.
And setting healthy boundaries—protecting your peace, time, and energy—means that, rather than running on empty, you can be emotionally available to show up for your neighbors when they truly need you.
Most importantly, honor and accept your humanness . . . Things will not always go the way we want them to . . . we will encounter frustrations, losses, make mistakes, bump up against limitations, or fall short of our ideals . . . but this is the human condition, the reality shared by every one of us . . . As we open ourselves up to this reality, working with it instead of constantly fighting against it, the more we will be able to feel compassion for ourselves and others in the experiences of life.
God doesn’t make junk. We are created in God’s image; we are his masterpieces.
It’s not just okay to love myself:
God expects me to celebrate the person he created me to be!
(Al Mulder)
INVITATION—TO TALK WITH GOD . . .
No one is more influential in your life than you are,
because no one talks to you more than you do.
You are in an unending conversation with yourself.
You are talking to yourself all the time, interpreting, organizing,
and analyzing what’s going on inside you and around you.
(Dr. Paul David Tripp)
You are the most influential person in your life—because you talk to yourself more than anyone else talks to you . . . hmmm.
So, what do you regularly tell yourself about yourself, God, and your circumstances?
Do your words to yourself encourage faith, hope, and courage? . . .
Or do they fuel doubt, discouragement, and fear?
How honest, healthy, sensible, faith-driven, and Christ-centered
is the conversation that you have with yourself every day? . . .
How well are you counseling yourself?
Spend some time in prayer and ask God to help you honestly answer some of these questions . . .
and ask for guidance on how to positively move forward.
What you think affects what you believe,
which affects what you feel,
which affects what you do.
(Craig Groschel)
Sometimes, what we say to ourselves isn’t all good . . . We all tend to be hard on ourselves, we see the worst in ourselves, and this can make it hard to love ourselves fairly and fully . . . Did you know that something negative tends to imprint on our brains more quickly and lasts longer than something positive . . . ouch!! . . . That’s why, if we’re not careful, it’s easy to slip into and stay stuck in negative thinking.
“Be careful how you think; your life is shaped by your thoughts.”
Proverbs 4:23
Your life is always moving in the direction of your strongest thoughts,
positive or negative.
(Craig Groschel)
When most of what we see online is negative, most of what our friends say is negative, and most of what you tell yourself is negative, we create negative pathways of thought in our minds . . . In other words, once you think negatively, it becomes easier to think that same thought again . . . Repeated negativity becomes a habit, a default setting . . . instead of being emotionally healthy, we’re miserable. . . . and, like a virus, negativity is contagious, so it quickly spreads from one person to the next. . . . It’s impossible to have a positive life with a negative mind . . . so, now what?
Do you see yourself in this, even a little bit? . . . Do you see this in someone you know?
Now is the time to talk with God about how to reverse the negativity, how to help you focus on the positive. . . .
Ask God to reach deep into your heart and help you renew and refresh
your heart and soul to move toward hope and joy.
The only way to truly love your neighbor as yourself is to realize that you’re already loved . . . God is pleased with you right now simply because you are you . . . God loves you just as you are . . . It’s not because of what you’ve done or haven’t done . . . God is not waiting to love the better or perfect version of you . . . You are loved and lovable today . . . Embrace the truth that you are already loved, and then you can begin loving your neighbor as yourself.
ILLUMINATION . . .
Pause and think about these words for a moment . . . “You’re light shines bright: You are worthy” . . . When you have the Light of Christ within you, when you ground and base your worthiness on The Rock, His love shines through your heart and soul outward to the world . . . Be assured that as a believer, as a Child of God, you belong and you are worthy, precious, and valuable to God as you shine His light to others.
As a loved and worthy Child of God, I challenge you to start “planting seeds of encouragement” within yourself and within others . . . Begin by simply introducing positive statements, in your mind and then out loud . . . as you feed and nurture this reassurance, support, and encouragement, the tiny seeds of positivity and hope will grow and bloom . . . Remember how the mustard seed, the tiniest of seeds, grew into a huge bush . . . that is the same for seeds of encouragement—the tiniest seed can make all the difference in the world.
“Though it is the smallest of all seeds,
yet when it grows, it is the largest of garden plants and becomes a tree,
so that the birds come and perch in its branches.”
Matthew 13:32
True believers have been forgiven, possess eternal life, and have blessings forever as the result of others who have shared the gospel with them . . . God wants us to lovingly share the good news of the gospel . . . let God’s love and light shine through you.
INSPIRATION—PRAYING THROUGH MUSIC . . .
“Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly
as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom through psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit,
singing to God with gratitude in your hearts.”
Colossians 3:16
I encourage you to take time to listen to any or all the songs below . . . there is no right or wrong style of music—it is what speaks to you . . . listen to the melody and the lyrics and feel the response of your heart to what God wants you to hear . . . and I do understand that music doesn’t speak to everyone . . . and that is okay too.
♪♬♪ Current . . . The Goodness of Jesus
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rBTW5guvIEk&list=RDrBTW5guvIEk&start_radio=1
♪♬♪ Praise & Worship . . . Mighty to Save
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HGumfQsBU0A&list=RDHGumfQsBU0A&start_radio=1
♪♬♪ Traditional . . . Freely, Freely
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TCA7auk95go&list=RDTCA7auk95go&start_radio=1
INTO EACH DAY AHEAD . . .
Father Richard Rohr offers this reminder of the importance of receiving God’s love so it can flow through us to others:
Jesus said, “Love your neighbor as you love yourself” (Matthew 22:39). We are to love our neighbor in the same way we
love ourselves. “We love because God has first loved us” (1 John 4:19). When we accept the unconditional love and
undeserved mercy that God offers us—knowing we are not worthy of it—then we can allow God to love others through
us in the same way. It’s God in you loving you, warts and all, and God in you loving others as they are. This is why the
love we have available to give away is limitless.
Jesus taught that it’s all about love,
and in the end, that’s all we’re all going to be judged for.
Did we love? Did we love life?
Did we love ourselves? Did we love God, and did we love our neighbor?
(Richard Rohr)
Dear Lord, help us to see ourselves through Your eyes
and embrace the worth You have placed within each of us.
Teach us to treat ourselves with the same compassion and grace that You extend to us each day.
Help us to overcome insecurities, let go of negative thoughts, and care for our hearts and souls.
Thank You for creating us to be worthy of You and for loving us unconditionally. In Jesus’s name, Amen.
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